All parents have felt it at some point, whether your have one kid or six, a three month old or a ten year old, it’s always there lingering from birth to adulthood. Mom guilt. Dad guilt. Parent guilt. Parent guilt is the feeling of guilt, doubt, anxiousness or uncertainty experiences by parents when they worry they’re failing or falling short of expectations in some way.
You are 100% responsible for another life, it’s almost impossible to not feel guilty over something in their life at some point. It comes with the territory of being a parent. You aren’t ever going to be able to tell a parent to stop worrying.
Am I feeding the baby enough? Am I holding the baby enough? Is the baby sleeping okay? Is the toddler eating healthy meals? Am I spending enough time teaching her? I didn’t spend enough time cleaning the house today. I didn’t spend enough time playing with the kids. I didn’t bring her outside to play even though it’s a beautiful day. These are just some examples of guilt we carry on a daily basis. Anything can turn into a reason to feel guilty. I am constantly wondering if my decisions are “right.”
The fact that I feel guilt over anything and everything proves that I really want to do what’s best for my daughter. That realization alone allows me to breathe a big sigh of relief. I’m constantly worrying and feeling guilty over my parenting choices because I want my daughter to have the best version of me possible. So instead of trying to get rid of the mom guilt I’m going to embrace it.
Since I began to accept my mom guilt it has made me a better mom. I’ve stopped chasing perfection and I’ve come to realize that most days will have bumps in the road. Once I accepted I wasn’t a perfect mom I became a happier mom. Instead of worrying, I spent my time playing, teaching and loving my daughter more. I can teach her that no one is perfect and that she shouldn’t expect herself to be either. There will be days that mommy isn’t her best self and there will be days Olivia isn’t her best self. That’s a part of life, a part of living, learning and growing.
So accept the mom guilt, it means you’re caring, loving and protecting your kids. It means that you love your children and you want to do such an amazing job at raising them that you fall into the trap of obsessing into being the perfect parent. It means you’re doing your best as a mother or father and that’s all that’s important at the end of the day. If your children feel loved then what you are doing is enough, what you’re giving is enough, and who you are is enough.